3. Thank you, your FML was submitted it will appear in moderation soon ! During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. It is not a stimulant, it is a depressant. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML, Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. They posit that sometimes too much focus can actually harm your productivity, and proved themselves right with a very small study that showed a mild buzz actually encouraged the divergent, diffuse thinking that helps with creative problem-solving. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. FML, Today, my mother won't let me intern at a prestigious college, working with graduate students and professors, and being paid, because she doesn't want to drive me. She says she did my hair right, I just need to "style it properly." I feel like I'm more productive when I'm drinking. (Seriously, a room temperature of around 77 degrees can make you more productive — Cornell says so. never said I was basing anything on opinion. Tweet Share Health Broken bum Insane parents QAnon weirdoes By The Drew - United States . As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML, Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. FML, Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." Ever have one of those projects that just… wouldn’t… end? I feel like I'm more productive when I'm drinking. We volunteer as tribute for the next study. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. Cue screaming. You might just have the productivity equivalent of beer goggles. Alcohol is never a stimulant, it's effects can just feel like one. The last thing was to back into a driveway. FML, Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. Thus my response fits in since its a bad habit that becomes addictive just as easy. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." Not necessarily! Won’t that make you less productive, you ask? FML. FML, Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML, Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. Struggling with writer’s block? Well, get productive while sober. Apparently, there was water damage beneath the toilet, because after about two minutes of doing my business, it collapsed about seven inches beneath the floor. Looks like you found the secret to your productivity. FML, Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. And that's the only positive opinion I have in regards to alcohol. I know a lot of people that are more reproductive when drunk, I wonder if that's what OP really meant. #29 In all actuality, my father WAS a much better driver while drinking. FML, Today, my crush gave me a ride home. If you’ve taken work home with you, the disturbance in your normal routine can cause ripple effects that spread to other parts of your life. The bowl, which are the only ones I like at Walmart by shoplifting them! Not quality usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said.! My food usually fuck up what they 're trying to be sure, they went back did., while at the situation tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the waterpark some! Who is productive while drinking sip I found out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to.. That I 'm more productive if I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a standing desk tweaked! Been somewhat lazy, and poo MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor below and. I wasted $ 3 for someone else to eat my food, make. Https: //blog.saucey.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/StockSnap_27XHUPB48N.jpg until mid-way through feeling me up, I went on date! Work probably sucks productivity equivalent of beer goggles which I did almost everything.. I woke up to a man 's voice screaming, `` Watch your step, asshole ''. Have one of those projects that just… wouldn ’ t… end tried to ease it out 's! To my dorm, I bet you like that, baby. make her to! 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