The "Freaking Out about Moving In Together" Fight. Angry and abusive fights show that consideration and thoughtfulness have disappeared from your relationship. After all, arguments can be healthy, too. When you’re both calm, sit down and work out a framework to use for your arguments. Here are 6 steps to making sure yours are productive. In a social interaction, discussion, or argument, regular, well-meaning people treat others with curiosity, empathy, and good faith. Every insecurity you have about you relationship becomes magnified in this phase. Jealously has a bad connotation for a reason — it can play against a relationship in a big way. Maybe one partner is a lavish spender and the other is more frugal, or being short on funds puts a constant strain on the relationship. At the end of the day, we are all trying our best to love the people who are most important to us. The best relationships, I believe, are rooted in the ability of both people to disagree without aggression or hostility. ... Don't threaten your relationship. You might even post this framework somewhere in your home as a reminder. For example, you might each have five minutes to voice your grievances. What to do For constant bickerers, call a truce and see if you can stick to it for a week. Fights over finances can strike from a lot of different angles. While money and sex are the top two most common reasons for arguments, parenting differences, in-law issues or even what’s-for-dinner fights can also lead to arguments, Dr. Boardman says. Also the act … Argue, not fight. "Arguments can actually infuse some adrenaline into a couple’s relationship," Dr. Gilda Carle explained on the Match.com website. Having the same fights over and over again is, of course, utterly frustrating. And don't take every argument … Healthy relationships fight fair, which means one partner isn’t allowed to run the show and dictate the rules. Stonewalling occurs when a person gets so upset, they shut down and disengage from the argument. The “why do you walk away when we fight?” fight This statement suggests at least one spouse is stonewalling ― a cardinal sin in any relationship, according to Feuerman. The anger that comes with bickering and fighting all the time can mask the sadness about the state of your relationship. Ask how the other’s solution will solve the problem without arguments. 10 Tips to Help Avoid Ugly Arguments If done correctly, a fight can be a pathway to growth and problem solving. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but don’t think a fight has to be a bad thing.